aka: An Ode to a Messy House
My kids are a mess. My kids are loud. My kids are immature. Picky. Moody.
My kids are too much like me…
But my kids are also kind. Caring. Compassionate. Insightful. Full of life. Crazy Fun. Beautiful.
I wish I were more like my kids.
Eight years ago today my wife and I welcomed our first born Nathaniel into the world in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
This past February I attended my 10 year college reunion and it was like I was looking into one of my previous lives. So much of who I am and what defines me has changed over the past 2/3rd of a dozen years ago (big families count in dozens simply for the shock value).
But children are messy. They mess up everything… if done right. Which leads me to the following line of logic:
Passion brings life. Life is messy. Passion is messy.
I don’t know if the syllogism works (yes, syllogism is a new word I learned so I’m trying to use it a dozen times so I don’t forget … what was I talking about?). But here is my logic…
Children are a product of passion. I won’t go into details since this is a family site (sorta). So much of life is like this if you think about it. We follow our passions first (whether it be love, career, ministry or sports team) and think of the cost later, if we ever do really consider it.
For too long I’ve viewed my children as weights that have held me back from pursuing my real dreams. If it were up to me my life would be completely different. It would be so much more cleaner, “successful” and … empty. It would suck.
And what’s worse is, I wouldn’t even know it. I wrote awhile back that “we never weep over the children that were never conceived.” That comment has haunted me.
I prayed a dozen years ago that God would glorify himself at my expense. Bad prayer to pray if you want a comfortable life. Great prayer if you want your prayers to be answered.
Fortunately, God had his hand in this delay / redirection.
My prayer now is not for success or for my dreams to come true but for His will and dreams to come true. And while I’ve longed to produce great theatric masterpieces, God has instead opened up a whole new production line that is infinitely more valuable, beautiful and meaningful.
Ironically, many of my other prayers have also been answered in ways I didn’t expect. For years I’ve wanted friends that would play RTS games with me like I used to have in college.
Yesterday I took my son to the store to buy a video game for his birthday. He then picked the one video game (Stronghold Legends) that I had had my own eye (but hadn’t purchased because of time constraints) out of hundreds of titles available and we spent hours playing together today.
I’ve also longed for a fan base that would faun over every story, quip and line that spills from my patriarchal mouth.
Now my kids beg me every night to tell them stories. Early this summer I spent four weeks giving them one of my fantasy stories a chapter at a time. Now they want me to tell the next story, and I’m not ready. I can finally say that I now have more fans than I know what to do with.
One of my favorite proverbs is the one that reads “where no oxen is the crib is clean.” Basically, its easy to keep a barn clean if there aren’t any animals in it. I have seen too many of my friends live antiseptically clean lives and have spotless houses and be the poorer for it. My wife makes a mess and my kids love her for it (and I do too once I get past my fit of OCD). Many judge our house, our five children and our own weary smiles and say “how do they do it?” whilst thinking “thank God, we don’t have to do that.”
I thank God that I do get to do it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except I’d like to make it an even eight (one more biological and a sibling set from an African orphanage), but I’m holding all of my plans loosely lest my plans block God’s dream for me and my family.
Besides once the house reaches a certain level of disaster any additional destruction is actually rebuilding… right?
In conclusion to this wandering toddler of an essay. That is how life is in a house full of children. Messy but meaningful. Loud but lively. Crazy but creative. Wild and Wonderful.
Link to my wonderful and beautiful wife’s blog and a photo of our family.
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