My church is set to begin a new building project. As part of our bylaws any time the church acquires debt the issue must be voted on by the church body.
What follows is an observation of that meeting. But before I continue I must preface the account.
No church is perfect. However, God has ordained the church to be His witness on earth. What “church” that is exactly I shant argue here. I personally am very ecumenical. This means that I believe the body of Christ consist of every person who calls upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. These members might be called Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, Coptic or Messianic or they may not have a title at all. Thats okay, God knows who they are.
As far as my personal church affiliations it is a cocktail of denominations in the Protestant branch. My parents were Lutheran and Presbyterian, but they raised us Charismatic. As a teenager I went to a Baptist youth group, married a Methodist, contemplated converting to Catholic or Catholic Lite (Episcopalian) in college, and am now attending a Christian and Missionary Alliance church.
This past week was only the second time I had attended a church meeting where “Gods will” for the church was decided by a vote. A vocal one at that. So much for the still small voice.
I digress.
Im still getting used to this particular form of Church government, but I must admit I do prefer it to the more mainline denominations and their bureaucracy.
So my observations of this meeting are not meant to be critical of my church. They are rather intended to be reflective in nature. Some may see mistakes that can be fixed in their own church, others may see ideas that should be implemented in theirs. There are some of both. As for me I am now in full support of the churchs direction even though I voted “nay.” How can that be? Well, that is what this entry is about.
I went to the meeting intending to vote “yes” and wanting to just observe the proceeding. By the end of it I was one of the obnoxious loud-mouth malcontents who voted “no.”
The specifics of the proceeding are of very little interest and besides I was sworn to secrecy. Okay, so I wasnt sworn to secrecy but I dont want to be a gossip either. Suffice it to say the issue in question was rather or not to incur debt in order to build a classroom building next to the current sanctuary. Issues regarding space, office space, classrooms and the like were all brought up. The issue that stuck with me was the decision to downsize the building from a 2 story (with the second floor unfinished) to a one story.
Many questions were directed toward this decision. I expressed my opinion that we were painting ourselves into a corner and would run out of space much too quickly if we didnt build the 2nd floor.
Choose your own adventure time. AKA What would you do? You warn somebody of a potentially negative consequence. They dont take your advice. What do you do? Hope that the consequence catches up to them so that you will be proved correct? Or Pray that your advice was wrong? Or _______ (fill in the blank). Me? Well, I know I should be praying that Im wrong, but I also like being right.
After some time of discussion the issue abruptly went to a vote (our church uses some archaic rules of parliamentary procedure – I had never heard of it before, but my wife knew what it was from forensics in high school) and a voice vote was called for with something like “all those in favor of the *@&#% [indiscernible] question answer by saying Saskatoon.” Most everyone then tried to pronounce the word and then the pastor continued “all those opposed bay like a horse and say ânay. “
I said “NAY” with such force and vigor that only my wife heard me. I heard a lot of others cough or shuffle in their seats but no horses.
I was frustrated. As I mentioned I intended on voting for the building in the first place, but the way the issue was being sold, the lack of specific answers to a number of questions and then the confusing procedures brought up all these alarm bells.
Now I know why the Communist would always execute the intelligentsia when they took over a country. Smart people tend to think too much, ask too many questions and then want real answers. It is much easier to lead the sheep when there arent any goats around to bite you in the butt.
If the night had ended then and there, I would seriously be looking for another church. I dont like things being forced on me. Real or perceived I dont like being bullied.
Fortunately, the night did not end there. And this I think is Gods fault and brings up my first observation: People want to be heard, and once they are heard then they are much more pliable to change.
Some people complained and the chair wisely decided to reopen the discussion and take a revote once everyone was aware of what exactly was going on. I mentioned that I thought we should take a written vote. This idea was shot down and the remark was made along the lines of “we are all adults here, so we should be honest.”
Second observation which Im stealing from the Bible: Wise people overlook insults. I could have been offended but there was some truth to the remark (and some lie: group think peer pressure is very real). So I determined to be a man and left.
Third Observation: Stay engaged. This one piece of advice was the best advice I ever got regarding marriage, but it applies to all relationships really. Stay engaged. Dont give up and withdraw, stay connected and in relationship with your spouse, children, church, or whomever.
Conflict is part of life. God has equipped us to resolve conflict with reason, forgiveness and love. All too often we chose other means; hysterics, bitterness and violence. These of course lead to more conflict.
This past Thursday night I saw a train wreck avoided because people stayed engaged until everyone had expressed themselves and asked their questions and understood the procedures for the vote. The final vote was by hand (a compromise between the voice vote and the written vote) and me and my gang of 13 were trounced by the other 130. I wasnt surprised nor am I disappointed. Im glad were building. Its not what I would have done on my perfect little island but at least I was heard and my vote was registered.
Final observation: Sit back and enjoy a good conflict. Most people love conflict in movies and TV but will do anything to avoid it at home or the office. Others love conflict too much. There is a happy place somewhere in the middle. Constant conflict is unsettling and disruptive, while no conflict stunts growth and creates apathy. By having a healthy discussion my church showed me that maybe this Body of Christ thing does work when everyone joins in.
The real closing: If I publish this then it will mean that I have forwarded a link to my pastor, which goes back to being a man thing. If you feel strongly enough to say something then own it. Take responsibility for your feelings and express them to the appropriate people. In my life I have known people that are unapproachable. My pastor is very approachable. I think the fact that there is a healthy debate reflects well on my church. The fact that this debate doesnt become a crippling civil war also reflects well.
It is true that leaders must take responsibility for how they lead and the direction they lead. But it is equally true that followers must be willing to follow those they trust, serve and when necessary confront their leader. Moses was one of the best leaders in the world and yet the Hebrews wouldnt follow him. Instead of confronting him they murmured and complained, and when his back was turned they would betray him and build an idol. And we saw how well this worked for them.
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