I remember an essay “The Book of Joe” that I read in Sunday school in 6th or 7th grade. The writer of this article took an interesting twist on Job. The character of Joe was a loser. Ugly. Poor. Unsuccessful. But despite all of this Joe loved God. So Satan comes before God and asks to bless Joe and then Joe will curse God. I loved the twist. I also like how at the end while on his expensive boat surrounded by sycophants Joe does betray God, “The Lord helps those who help themselves.”
I wondered recently if God has been blessing me by protecting me from success. Nothing I’ve tried has worked as I intended it to. And things that I don’t intend, become very successful.
I’ve dreamt of being a writer since childhood. I’ve had concepts banging around in my head for dozens of years. My trilogy (every script writer has at least one trilogy in their head) dates back to an idea I had in 3rd grade. I can see these movies running in my head. I also like to write essays (hence this blog) and explore and think about diverse stuff (politics, economics, religion, history, sociology, science, etc…). To achieve success in my chosen path I’ve sent out dozens of resumes … okay, I haven’t killed myself on this front because of God. He has held me back from pursing my dreams with reckless abandon. I never had a peace about going to LA after film school and getting into productions, so instead God led me to Texas and six co-productions with my wife.
So five years ago while I was five years into my teaching career (something I’ve never intended but have been quite successful with) I told God that I’d give up writing / films / and media of all ages and would instead focus on teaching and my family. And in one of those moments that I can only attribute to God, He told me I would make movies. While I had this connection I should have asked “when” but I was to taken back by the “what”.
Good, I thought. Now God would open up doors. Except in the past five years all of the doors I’ve knocked on have stayed shut (Evolution vs. Creation, resumes), while those doors that I don’t knock on, open wide (six awesome children, great marriage, health, teaching career).
Sometimes I wonder if God is part Monty Pythonesque with his wacky sense of humor. I’m not accusing Him of being sadistic or demented, but I do think He enjoys twisting perceptions, expectations and the nations. (Maybe He’d like this last sentence, or He might find it forced).
Recently as I was writing a cover letter I began to think about Joseph, the dreamer. In the big stuff we are nothing alike (his story is much more dramatic then mine – thankfully), but in some of the smaller areas I feel a kinship. But for now we’ll leave Joseph where he is, but I shall return to him in a bit. Ironically, this was probably God’s approach too.
Today I received an alumni newsletter from my undergraduate alma mater (Oral Roberts University). In it I’m reminded of the success of various alumni and I’m left with the feeling that I’m so far behind. That I’m a failure. A friend and fellow editor now has his own national magazine (Relevant magazine), while another alumni who started with $100 in 2007 now has an international ministry. Not too mention everyone has more hair then me.
I know that alumni newsletters are supposed to keep you informed and inspired, but it seems that every time I receive one I’m only reminded that I’m not where I wanted to be at this stage in my life. An aside: are testimonies only powerful if they end in great success?
So the bigger question emerges: what is Success?
Short answer: Success is the NEXT accomplishment. Success, as someone (maybe Simon) said, is short lived. Success is what the OTHER guy did.
Two weeks ago my Dallas Mavericks won the NBA championship. Thanks in no part to my contribution I’m hesitant to add. The night they won and for the next few days I basked in the glory of this championship. I was on cloud nine and read anything online about their victory. Within a few days the topic switched from “how they won” to “can they repeat in 2012?”
While I wanted to bask in the championship for another month or two, the world quickly moved on. Success rarely comes. And when/if it does it will be gone and you’ll be chasing after the next success. My parents once told me that once you let go of something, then God can let you have it. That really threw me for a loop. Now I can kinda understand what they were saying.
God’s definition of success is different then ours. He’s more concerned with our contentment and gratefulness. He also views things in a much larger time scale.
Oh!, I forgot about Joseph. Apparently God’s plan for Joseph, the dreamer, was for him to be a failure until the perfect job opened up. Imagine how history would have been different if Joseph hadn’t been fired by Potipher or if he’d been released from prison because of good behavior. Joseph, like Abraham Lincoln, was the most persistent loser until …
Of course, my logic fails if I’m sitting on my thumbs waiting for God to do everything. Joseph served faithfully and was recognized by both Potipher and the jailer. It must have seemed on Joseph’s 35 birthday that no matter what he did, he was destined to remain in that jail. Destined to be separated from his family. Die childless. A foreigner in a racist land. His dreams to be crushed by the weight of reality.
Dude, when I think of Joseph it is very difficult to properly enjoy my own pity party.
It does; however, serve as a powerful reminder that the God we serve doesn’t forget about us. And that while God’s sense of humor may seem a little twisted, in the end the Lord straightens everything out. All we have to do is be faithful and trust that “The Lord helps those whose hope is in Him.”
I wish I had a better conclusion, but thankfully I’m not there yet and that fills me with gratitude and contentment. And I didn’t just write that because God is one of my readers.
Hey Phil, you have more hair than me…if it helps 😉