The Philip Pfiles

07/21/09: Muggle Magic

Why do people love Harry Potter? What is it about that world that enthralls so many? Whilst I haven’t read any of the books I have watched the movie. [Enter my wife’s derisive laugh track here].

I’m sure part of it is due to J.K. Rowlings writing ability and style. The characters? Sure. But I think in a bigger sense the reason that Harry Potter resonates with so many is because we long for the supernatural. In our materialistic / “science saves” society we’ve lost something mystical, mysterious, marvelous.

We’ve lost the magic.

Now whether magic is something that our evolutionary brain developed to protect us from predatory pigeons I cannot comment on. I personally think its because we need to look beyond our vision. We think in our four dimensions (XYZ and time) when we intrinsically know that there is more out there. There are other worlds beyond our reach. (See the book or movie called Flatlands for an interesting examination of other dimensions).

I believe that some of these dimensions are spiritual. I believe in angels, demons, God and gods. What can I say, I’ve seen their handiwork every time I pick up a paper, history book or news broadcast.

I may be a muggle but I want to be a sorcerer... and I’m not as blind as all those muggle extras in the Potter movies.

But if that works for you, keep on being captivated by the possibility of the truth, while living the blandness of the flatlands.

02/16/09: Some Random Thoughts

I haven't written much as of late. Stating the obvious to me and the inconsequential to everyone else is how I like to start most of my entries.

Here are my thoughts on shuffle mode.

American Idol: I’m really ticked that they didn’t pick Jamar Rogers for the final 36. I like him a lot and could see him and his friend, Danny Gokey, making it easily to the final 12. Instead they chose three of the most annoying Sanji’esque people, Stephen Fowler, Nick Mitchell and Titianna Del Toro. I’m betting the people at votefortheworst.com have already called to thank the producers. It seems the producers are more interested in obnoxiousness and ratings then in actually putting through singers that can actually sell albums. All I can say at this point is that my wife and I’ll be voting for Danny and hoping he wins so that he and Jamar can cut an album together. Maybe the next dc Talk. I’d definitely buy their albums. BTW I own only one album by an Idol alum and that album is Daughtry by 4th place finisher Chris Daughtry. We’ll see how the top 36 shake down, but if they give much more air time to the three above mentioned annoyances then I think I’ll skip this season.

Luv, tru luv?: Teen love is hard to take seriously. My wife and I watched “Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist” tonight. It was enjoyable in that it was the first movie in a long time that we sat down on the couch and watched together without trying to clean, grade papers, sew or some other chore. The movie wasn't bad. I wouldn't recommend it, nor would I discommend (sp) it. Inconsequential is the best term.

It seems too many movies go for the teen crowd. I know why: teens spend a lot of money, they have the time, can cast up and coming talent and such a movie is cheap to produce. Just a sec... I have a new script idea, better call my agent.

No answer. Anyway, the problem (and yes there's always a problem) besides the promoting of unsustainable sexual chemistry, superficial physicality, reckless driving, risque night life, and a few dozen other dangerous juvenile behaviors is that there was no moral to the movie. Nothing. And yes, I'm starting to sound like a grumpy old man.

In my defense, I liked the last Michael Cera movie “Juno” a lot (and I LOVED Arrested Development). There was something very redeeming and moral about Juno. This “Playlist” wasn't moral, and to be fair it wasn't that immoral, it was just amoral. And that I think sums up the current cultural malaise in America. “Do what is right in your own eyes and accept people the way they are. Judge nothing, lest we picket you, you intolerant bigot.”

My idea? Thanks for asking. It’s a film about this older couple with say... five kids, who live in the suburbs, serving in their community, their church and each other and then aliens attack and they must join forces with the Decepticons to undo the damage done by HAL 5000 and the league of semi-ordinary gentlepeople, while at the same time fighting a vicious attack of the common cold and diaper rash.

Darn... Still no answer.

Next Random Thought: Career Crush

I've had this idea rummaging around in my head for years. I may develop it into a fuller article and when I’ll do I’ll link back to it here. Yup, haven’t written it yet, so here’s what I got so far.

We all have our crushes. As a married man I do my best not to have romantic crushes (though Princess Leia is still so darn hot ... especially with those honey bun rolls on her head) but I have had my share of Career Crushes.

So what is a Career Crush? Well for someone like me who has no connections whatsoever (and the one I do wont answer) I often hope, daydream and pine for that one “connection” that will propel me from a nameless public school teacher to the next Robert Bolt or David Puttnam (and yes I just named one of my career crushes - I’m incorrigible). For those who aren’t writers obsessed with the movie, “The Mission”, the above mentioned persons are my British Idols (along with C.S. Lewis and Winston Churchill) and only Puttnam is still with us. He’s retired but if he were to come out of retirement I have this script...

That is my dream to be a writer and producer. And a sycophant. And I know that it will happen. (Not the sycophant... that was a joke) Someday. But the person that’s going to make it happen isn’t human... or well He is but is also something else. Divine. And I’m not just trying to butter him. I’m talking about Jesus Christ. Which may be one reason no one returns my calls (yes, I’ll drop that running joke like a telemarketer).

Which leads me to my next not so random thought: Time: Sometimes I wonder when my opportunity will come and other times I don't think I'll ever be ready when it does. Where I am today after teaching for eight years, raising five kids and developing my own business and scripts is nowhere near where I was eight years ago when I graduated from film school. So in some ways I feel much better prepared when the opportunity arises. But there are other days when I feel so insignificant and that I’ll never be ready.

It reminds me of this cool verse in the Bible... “He makes all things beautiful in his time.”

Which in turns reminds me of this favorite childhood song and cartoon catchphrase “have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry, when you get inpatient, you only start to worry.” and “patience my little Smurflings.”

I know that the day I finally get over my Career Crush that God will open doors and move me to where He wants me to be. I guess that’s a cool thought really - that God wants to be my “connection.” Its funny how crushes disappear when confronted with the realistic choices, and even funnier when the realistic choices produce a love and fruit that lasts, while the crushes are squeezed out. What’s even funnier is that this last sentence makes sense only to me. I think I need to stop watching movies made for teens.

Novels: I'm reading the Anne Rice novel “ Road to Cana.” I’ll write more about it when I’m done. But I did want to let my mom know that I can still read. I never read her vampire novels, but it is amazing how God is using the fame and skills she gained from those novels as she writes these novels about Christ. It is a very good read... and this despite the fact that there aren’t any pictures. But I’m determined to finish the book before I go back to my junior novelizations.

05/28/07: David Stern and the San Antonio Spurs stink really ... really bad

Sour Grapes sure. But I'm not too far off. So here goes my tirade.

David Stern should just give the Spurs the title. Basketball is becoming a circus much like the other "controlled" sports: boxing, casinos and dog racing.

Basketball is entertaining sure, but its losing any semblance of a sport. It's becoming less about talent and technique and more about marketing and acting.

It is well known that certain "marquee" players can take a third step and not get called for the travel. In the playoffs the big names can do no wrong, while the no names can do no right. Last years fiasco between Devin Harris and Dwyane Wade may be quickly forgotten by some but not I. In pivotal game five Dwyane Wade went to the line 25 times because of "fouls" (the Heat went to the line 49 times) while the entire Dallas team went 25 times - all 10 players. To cap off this ridiculous attempt at "reffing" the Heat are down by one with seconds to go in overtime, Wade drives for the basketball and misses... but wait an imaginary foul is called, Wade goes to the line, sinks both shots and the Heat go on to win the Championship (in game six).

So Dallas loses game five at home to Miami by one point. This is also the game where David Stern tipped the scales toward his anointed champion by suspending Jerry Stackhouse for a game for a "hard" foul in game four.

I was over it - I thought. And then in this post season my Dallas Mavericks lose in the first round (without any help from Stern) so I root for my backup - the Phoenix Suns.

Now this year the Spurs are headed to the Finals because David Stern kicked two of the Phoenix Suns starters out of game five because of a flagrant foul that a Spurs player laid on Steve Nash (the Suns point guard) in game four. And who says history doesn't repeat itself.

Basic Recap: Robert Horry checks Steven Nash into the boards. Suns bench rises in anger but is calmed down by its own staff. Meanwhile the players on the court come to a confrontation. Horry is ejected and suspended the next two games (as he should have been). But David Stern, the next day after having plenty of time to consider options and make the correct call, ejects two of the Sun's players (Stoudemire and Diaw) because they left their bench area (never mind the fact they returned to it by their own volition seconds later). He says he has to enforce the law (bad law though it was) impartially. Question: aren't judges supposed to "judge" things and weigh the severity of it? Even hanging Judges would have been more lenient then Stern was. Hum... interesting last name Stern has. Hopefully the owners will sack his sorry self during this off season or he'll become the ringleader instead of the commissioner.

Anyway the Spurs go on to barely win game five in Phoenix thanks to Stern's removal of two of their biggest threats and clean up in game six.

Just a thought: If I was the coach of San Antonio would I want to win the championship because of a dirty play my guy initiated? Where is the honor in sports anymore? Popovich seems like a classy guy but he missed a golden opportunity this time to show it. I think it would have been a very gutsy, courageous and heroic gesture for him to have set out Duncan in game 5 as a sign of honor. If they win, they win on a leveled playing field. If they lose they have game 6 & 7 to come back. But the only reason they won game five is because Stern kicked out the Sun's starting center. And Popovich took advantage of the situation.

For that matter what about Duncan? He could have set himself out as a sign of honor. Can't blame either of them, but I surely won't honor them.

Who am I kidding? Sports aren't about honor anymore. They're about winning. That's why the league allows and players take advantage of the most ridiculous foul calling when it comes to flops.

Sometimes I'm watching the WWE and a Basketball game breaks out. With all the flops you may confuse it for gymnastics.

What ever happened to "no blood, no foul?" Mano "the Flopper" Giniobli may be a great player - but I'm very confused because half of the game he's on his back trying to go to the free throw line. And of course, the refs oblige him. I could make some crude comment about "Desperate Housewives" but that wouldn't be in keeping with my sites attempt at decency.

Whatever happened to role models? These players I'm witnessing aren't role models. They play dirty, are rewarded for playing dirty, flop when touched and then whine when the calls go against them. Duncan, who I used to like when he had Robinson by his side, has become a laughingstock to everyone outside of San Antonio. His "who me" look is comical and boring - seen it before a thousand times.

I can't blame the players for being such wimps and coaches for having tunnel vision but all of this is not setting good examples for our youth.

The whole debate about where character comes from is just the chicken and the egg revisited sure. But while character should be taught at home; it is reinforced, at the least, by the role model athletes that our young people choose. What does it say for our future when we reward and elevate the people in our society that take advantage of the rules, show no honor, whine when it doesn't go their way and then are named champions?

Aside: I gave my students the opportunity to pick a role model of their own choosing to write a report on and give a brief presentation about. While I pitched the idea of Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Frederick Douglas, George Washington Carver, among many others; the most popular selections where professional athletes such as Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson and Carmela Anthony among many others.

And the saddest thing is, this is happening at the Spurs franchise which was known for its character under David Robinson. A man who refused to forgo his commitment to the US Navy after going to the Naval Academy and the organization who drafted him anyway knowing they wouldn't get him for another two years.

The Spurs were an example of what was right in the NBA and this world, now they're an example of all the stuff that's wrong.

By the way, when the post season started my teams were the Dallas Mavericks, Phoenix Suns and then the San Antonio Spurs. Now I'm rooting for anyone BUT San Antonio. And the cap with their emblem that I bought during Robinson's tenure will be going the way of the Mavericks and Suns playoff hopes as well as the Spurs honor.

01/14/07: I'm rooting for ___, but the other team is going to win

This entry is of no consequence. I'm just venting in the general direction of all the pundits who choose the sports team based on the numbers and not their gut.

My father, whom I greatly admire (I say this because I am going to point out a foible), would always say he was rooting for team A, but that team B was going to win. It always bugged the tar out of me. When it comes to mutual funds hedging your bets is a good idea. When it comes to sports commit to a team and root for them. Don't waffle.

Today I was rooting for the Colts and the Saints. Fortunately, they both won their games thanks in large part to my 8 hours of anguished viewing and exuberant jumps in my living room, study and connected rooms.

What really got my goat was that all three of the pundits on CBS forecasted that the Ravens would win. I can forgive Mr. Sharpe since he played for the Ravens. Mr. Marino and Mr. Esiason are not forgiven. I just wished there was a way to make professional pundits eat their words when they make miserable calls like these.

Especially unforgivable is Mr. Marino who knows that Peyton Manning has always idolized him. Maybe its his own sour grapes as Manning is often compared to him and is fastly eclipsing his records. Or maybe he is just a lousy picker. At what time do personal loyalties or feelings play into the forecasting of sporting events? Are we in a Vegas casino or are we rooting for our team, all evidence to the contrary?

Besides don't they know how TV is supposed to work? Two guys pick one team, one guy picks the other. Its called keeping your audience happy or in their terminology; hedging your bets.

BTW: I'm rooting for Indy to win the AFC, the Saints to win the AFC and I want Indy to win it all. That being said Chicago and San Diego are going to win with Diego ultimately winning it all.

And no, I don't know what hypocrisy means? Why do you ask?

06/18/06: Mavs 2 - Heat / League Office 3

The Mavericks were double teamed tonight. If the Heat had beaten the Mavs tonight (like they did in games 3 & 4) then it would be painful but tolerable. As it was tonight the Heat beat the Mavs with a major assist by the dictatorship of Commissioner Stern and "the league office." Kind of reminds me of The Gestapo or The KGB. Seriously what accountability is there with the NBA?

If, lets say, that the League Office doesn't like Mark Cuban (the Mavericks owner) and decides to punish him and his team what recourse is there? Who overseas the league office? Themselves?

While I could complain about the fouls that were called and the ones that were not (if you touch Dwyane Wade they'll call a foul, but you can nock Devin Harris to the floor a dozen times and its all good) this is an old horse and fouls do eventually go both ways (theorically if there is no collusion between the League Office, the Zebras and the Network). What gets me most heated up is the fact that the "league office" has suspended Mavericks players three times during the playoffs. The most recent suspension of Stackhouse cost the Mavs game 5. No question about it. His offense? Playing physical against Shaquille O'Neal (who to his credit didn't complain about the flagrant foul and passed it off as a gentle tap). O'Neal is not a defenseless lamb. This Guy is brutal and yet because he brings in viewers and along with Wade is the annointed duo, he can do no wrong. So they suspend one of our top scorers who averages 12 points a game. Let's say he only gets half of that - we would've won by 5 points.

For more on this controversial league call click here.

Anyway, I'm really sickened by tonights loss. As I'm sure most Texans and anyone who likes fair play is. But there are still two more games left and the Mavericks should be able to win game 6 and 7 even if the Zebras and "League Office" join the Heat squad. I just think for the sake of history and statistics the "League Office" should at least be on the Heats roster.

For the Mavs and their Coach they need to vent and an objective third party or the other owners (they'll be the next targets if they don't) need to do something about the collusion at the league office or Basketball will become a has been sport like Baseball. Football is becoming the Premiere American sport because they are constantly fixing their mistakes and keeping their Zebras in line and giving their Zebras the ability to correct mistakes at the moment.

Once the Mavs are done venting they've got to focus on these last two games. They can still win it and will win it if they play their game and aren't tripled team. Then again maybe they should assume that they will be tripled team and win anyway.

03/16/06: P.S.: Sam is so Cool!

My brother is so cool. He is my hero.

He is my big brother even though he is younger than me. Don't remind me (my counselor no longer takes my insurance).

The end.

Philip

P.S. Yes this site is back up. Its been down for two weeks because the server it was on crashed.

P.S.S. Never assume, remember what it makes of "u" and me. Nevertheless you would be correct if you assumed that my hero was also partly responsible for the crash which brought about the need for the rescue. But is this any different then all of the antispyware, antispam, antivirus programs that make billions a year? Maybe it is but you have to think that these software companies are not too disappointed when a new major virus strikes. It doesn't hurt their sales. I'm not implying that there is some unholy alliance, but you are free to infer what you wish.

P.S.S.S. I love these postscripts. I can't use just one.

P.S to the 4th power: Since my site was down I did write four new entries which are back dated to the date they were written even though technically they are all being published today (3/16/06).

03/07/06: The Constant Gardner: An actual review

This film was terrible and terrific. Terrible in the way that it got into my head and won’t let me forget it. Terrible in the way that it haunts my thoughts, digs up my past and forces me to think about things that I would rather leave buried.

Terrific and terrible. I’d highly recommend you watch it, but for your own comfort I would have to recommend that you avoid it.

Where is escapist entertainment when you need it?

So how did this film become so terrible and terrific?

The first is the haunting and tragic love story that blossoms in the course of the film. It isn’t a Romeo & Juliet romance where we believe they love because they look like they’re in love. It isn’t the sappy sentimental type either where the film makers try to force us to care. It is one of the most unusual love stories in that there seems to be no love at all, and through a series of recollections Justin realizes just how much love there was.

On this "Lost Love" topic I won’t say any more here because I’ve already written of it in my previous article. Click Here: Losing Love.

While this aspect of the film is what has its claws in me, there is so many more facets to it.

Tessa at one point pleads with Justin to stop and help a young African boy and his orphaned sister. "We can’t save all of them Tessa" Justin reasons.

"This one we can save."

Later in the movie Justin uses the same line before the UN plane kicks off a Sudanese refugee to her certain demise.

As an educator I can look at the numbers and become overwhelmed. According to nationwide statistics 1/3 of my students won’t finish high school. Many of my students will experience abuse, divorce, neglect and pain that I will not be able to prevent.

BUT I can help them now. I can inspire, educate and challenge them to be better people. Maybe I can even affect them like my teachers affected me. Maybe in 20 years they can still recall a moment in my class or talk with me that changed their life. Maybe my guidance will help them to avoid some of the crap that life is flinging about.

I can’t save everyone but every year I have 150 under my tutelage that I can save ... or do my darndest trying.

Another aspect of the film is the role that drug companies take in developing and testing new medicines on African patients and the shady dealings that follow. I know too much about this subject (my father is a doctor and I worked with him for years) to buy the argument completely. I know too much about pharmaceutical technology to be too naive. Nevertheless the film does make even the staunchest Medical Rep take a very hard look at the possibility that drug companies cover up deaths caused by their medical testing. A scary possibility that hopefully will get people’s attention and terminate any such program before it could begin (or stop it if is already going).

I won’t get into a defense of pharmaceutical companies here but the fact that the film makes you think about the morality and numbers of this life & death science is a good thing. Everything should be examined in the light of day every once in awhile or it becomes moldy and decadent. But one thing should be considered before we hang drug companies in effigy: where would we be without the pharmaceutical advances that drug companies have engineered in the past century? They may employ some evil means, but their purpose is well intentioned.

The film made me reevaluate my political ideology. The film was touted as a liberal political activist thriller. I think that maybe I’m losing touch with my entrenched conservative beliefs. While I’m still a strong social conservative, I am beginning to question the Evangelical alliance with big business. The Bible does have a little too much to say about greed, money, power and the like. Should Christians sell out their belief in social justice and equality in order to bring about reforms in other areas? It sounds very Machiavellian to me. The ends do not justify the means. This I believe very strongly; it is the means that will bring about the end. Wrong means will backfire.

Don’t sign me up for the next Democratic primary just yet though. Envy and covetousness are still sins and I shan’t condone a resurrection of Marxist ideology. That film should not be remade or have a sequel (too many copycats that bombed... literally).

Another aspect of The Constant Gardener that stuck out to me was that of gears in a machine. No one is responsible for Tessa’s death and yet everyone has a hand in it. The illiterate nomads who do the deed for liquor, the ex-military contractors who take the call and send the boozed up nomads on their way, the general contractor who takes the call from corporate security and calls the contractors, the corporate security officer who tackles the problem that the board wants removed, the board who is more interested in profits then producing the best product, the politician who leaks the report to the board, the diplomat who informs on Tessa’s whereabouts and the shady doctor who gives additional times and places. And I’m probably missing a few cogs. They all had a hand in the death and yet they all hold onto their plausible deniability.

I think the guards at Nazi death camps already used the line "we were only following orders" and no one bought it then. Unfortunately, it seems America has been very busy wrecking other countries in order to fuel its own greed. Our line when we stand account will be "we were only following the bottom line." Market forecast: that is one export no one will buy.

The scariest thing about this film is that I don’t think its too far off what happens every day. I hope I’m wrong, but human nature doesn’t surprise me and the more I know about business dealings between the 1st world and the 3rd world, the less I want to know. Like the toddler who closes his eyes in order to hide; to him it appears to work, but no one else is fooled.

It almost makes me want to be a CEO so I can stand up on Wall Street and tell them that it isn’t all about the bottom line. While this fixation with the dollar has stabilized our economy, morally it has bankrupted us. As far as trading goes, I don’t think it was a good deal.

The final comment is the soundtrack. Most soundtracks sound like a previous soundtrack remixed. Not this one. Its mixture of classical elements with intense African instrumentation and vocals multiplies the effect of the haunting visuals.

So to review the review. Watch this film if you want to get a glimpse of a slice of Africa. Want to be challenged in your own relationships. Want to test your political loyalties.

Don’t see this film if you’re planning on using the line "we were only following..."

Warning: The Film is R for nudity and violence. Neither are gratuitous but they are both present.

02/13/06: Resonance: Reviewing The Mission

I just finished watching a pair of Polish Olympic skaters perform their long program to the music from "The Mission." It gave me goose bumps. This wont be a commentary on figure skating or their program specifically. While I enjoyed it, I'm more amazed by the prevalence of The Mission and its themes 20 years after its release.

BTW: In case you mistake me for being objective, The Mission is my favorite movie ever. Hands down favorite. Even when one day I write and produce my own films this film will still be my favorite. The question that is the catalyst for this entry is "why does The Mission still resonate and inspire so many to this day?"

When The Mission first came out it was received with mixed reviews and did only mediocre business at the box office. From producer David Puttnam (Chariots of Fire, The Killing Fields), writer Robert Bolt (The Man for All Seasons, Lawrence of Arabia) and director Roland Joffe (The Killing Fields) this film unites many of the elements essential to a Hollywood blockbuster: action, exotic locale, betrayal, love, drama and a top notch cast and crew and a great score (by Ennio Morricone). Why it didn't do better initially is hard to fathom. Some of it was timing, marketing, and some controversy regarding its apparent espousal of Marxist Liberation Theology (of course the Bible also apparently espouses Liberation Theology - which is the subject for a future entry once I finally understand Liberation Theology).

Despite mediocre box office performance it was nominated for a number of Ocars including best picture. So was it vindicated in 1986? No it lost the best picture Oscar to "Platoon" and the only Oscar was for Chris Menges' Cinematography (when you see the film there is no way it could have lost this award).

Over the last two decades The Mission keeps popping up. Part of this may be my brain's reticular activating system (simply put this function in the brain picks up on patterns in life: basic example is how when you buy a car you suddenly notice all of the other cars just like it) or part of it may be that The Mission has snuck back into our culture because it resonates.

If you haven't seen the film you should probably stop reading now and watch the film, I don't want to spoil the movie for you. Go ahead... I'll wait right here while you go view the movie. Its at your local video store and was recently released on DVD.

You back? Okay, so the resonating thing. The best way to describe resonate is to say when something hits home and makes an impact. My friend Mark Steele would say that it leaves "teeth marks." See his book resonated despite my mediocre review. Anyway The Mission stays with you. The images, the notions, the themes, the message... it seems as if this movie is as tenacious as the Jesuit priests it follows. They won't leave you and they will change you.

I first saw it when I was 11 or 12 and I have never forgotten how I felt as I left the theater. I didn't understand the politics or even where or when it took place - but the truths of love, sacrifice and loyalty have become enmeshed in my character and being. Each year I show it to my students who have similar reactions to mine. I've met dozens of people who name it as one of their favorite films and it has served to inspire numerous modern day missionaries to help the least of these.

While Kangaroo Jack may rule the box office or Shakespeare in Love may win the Oscar, truly great films will survive and resonate long after the finicky passing fancies anoint their king. The truly great ones will be vindicated in time... and I'm not only talking about movies.

So the question is are we willing to trade the immediate accolades of the fashionable fads that fade away for the lasting resonance of great work that seems to go unappreciated?

To quote the Jesuits muse, "seek ye first the kingdom of God ... and all these things shall be added unto you."

08/30/05: A Flashbank with Teeth?

I’m very hesitant to review my friend Mark Steele’s book, Flashbang, in an entry I wrote a month ago I gave some of my reasons. Now that I’ve read it I have a few other qualms.

“So was it bad?”

No, it wasn’t bad. In fact it was quite funny and memorable.

“So why the qualmy hands?”

Well, since you must know ... or at least are asking the question (for whatever ulterior motives I can only guess) ... my qualms are concerning some of the ... how do you say? Conventions?

“Conventions, you wrote it right. Get on with it already.”

Stop that! It’s annoying.

”A dialog with yourself is annoying?”

And don’t do the bold ... AND DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING ITALICS!!!

“ok, me sorry.”

No problem, you do bring up a good point. Flashbang is a book that has strokes of genius (both humorous and insightful) and strokes of annoyance. The preceding inner monologue is one of the annoying points.

“And the...”

Be gone already, you foul writing convention, into the eternal abyss of unread junk mail!!!

Okay, now that I’ve exorcized that spirit, I think I need to perform a similar seance on Flashbang. And that is why I’m qualmy. Mark Steele is a great writer. If my wife had been pregnant when she read it she would have peed in her pants. Fortunately I’m not pregnant and I was wearing trainers. But I couldn’t fully embrace and love the book because of its excesses.

It had too much unique typesetting. Too many inner monologues. Too much spiritual explanation and attempted connection. Too many concurrent stories. Too much preaching. Too much “wraparound.”

Too much like the stuff I write. I would start singing “I’m looking at the man in the mirror” but I won’t. Too untimely and too weird.

Personally, I wonder if he had an editor. I need an editor. Doesn’t even the bible say “without an editor my writers ramble?”

An editor would have nixed that blatant misuse of scripture. Editors help to channel and harness the creative forces of writers, the same way producers help to corral directors, and parents correct wayward children. Without these taming forces we get “artistic” films, spoilt brats and unabomberesque diatribes.

Regardless whether there was an editor or not, it seemed unharnessed. It also seemed like all the typesetting ploys were on the line of “nobody has done this before ... so therefore we should do it!”

The saddest remark about this is that Mark’s style and humor doesn’t need all the ploys. My favorite books growing up were by Patrick F. McManus. He had no ploys but I ... well, I didn’t have any trainers handy so I just changed clothes a lot... my parents thought I had OCD... anyway. Mark’s writing has many similarities and I believe that as Mark grows more confidant in his substance he’ll lean less on the ploys. But that is a freshman folly.

Speaking of substance. The book reminded me of a SNL sketch movie. You know the ones that are hilarious for the first 2/3rds of the film but then get stuck in some “moral” redemption / sappy sentimentality at the end. I’m all for the moral and trying to teach something positive, but the best films are the ones that remain consistent all the way. The best example of a consistent film would be “Liar, Liar” and “Tommy Boy” that were just as funny at the end as they were in the first half.

Mark seems to always want to justify his humor with a spiritual lesson. My guess is that this is a natural response to his being a comedian and a spiritual leader. Not normally things that coexist and when they do the latter always takes over. Irregardless, the first 2/3rds of the book are hilarious, despite the slight bogging down in the last third when Mark tries to tie everything back together and provide spiritual lessons (maybe a mandate from his publisher - but I’m only guessing).

I would love to read his next book where he just lets loose the former and lets the Holy Spirit bring to the reader the lessons He wants to impart. Sure Mark can foreshadow potential lessons and hint, but when he spells it out for us it cheapens and diminishes all the potential insights.

Now, this may seem like a negative review... and in many ways it has been. So let me try to even the scales (because I really did enjoy the book and encourage you to read it) with the following spoiler. The book is all about making teeth marks (permanent impressions for the good) on people and not being a flashbang (a temporary explosion that feels real and looks real but lacks any impact). The anecdotes he uses are great and did cause me to really consider the way I was living my own life and what I was trying to accomplish.

The ironic thing is that Flashbang was quite insightful and made me think about effort versus effective... that is until it started to tell me how to think about it. When it explained it all to me it lost me.

So much of my teaching career has been “flashbangish”. The kids like me but I don’t know how much of an impact I’m really leaving. This past year I began to transition to leaving marks (note to CPS: I’m using metaphorical language here) when I stopped all of my effort and relied more on God to make me effective. I still work, but its less about all I’M doing, and more about what God wants me to do. It’s still a process (I’m far from over myself) but one that was helped along by reading Flashbang (despite its typesetting flaws). I could try to explain what I mean by the last three sentences but I’d lose myself.

In conclusion, the only review that this book really needs is whether or not it changes and makes an impact on the lives of those who read it. If it leaves “teeth marks” then it is worth every dollar you spend on adult sized Depends.

“Are you speaking from experience?”

No comment. Besides I promised myself I wouldn’t do a wraparound.

07/31/05: Preview to a Review

I can’t be objective. Even if a journalist could be completely objective (which is impossible since journalist aren’t gods, despite all that they believe about themselves) I wouldn’t want to be. So this entry is a disclaimer for a future blog. This future blog will be a review of Mark Steele’s book “Flashbang” that was just released this week.

No matter what the book is really like I will give it a good review. And this creates a problem, what if the book IS really good? Because I cannot give it a bad review (Mark is a friend and mentor of sorts to me), how good of a good review can I give it that you will believe? So before I finish reading the book I need to lay out the hinderances to objectivity and then when I do publish the review you will have all the facts you need to make a decision about when to buy the book and from where.

The first question a skeptic would ask is, what if the book is terrible? The answer is that I will delete this entry and pretend nothing ever happened. So as far as the worse case scenario is concerned, if you are reading this then it can’t be really bad.

So I’ve established in my truncated logic, the fact that the book must be good. That no matter how good it is I cannot be objective, therefore you will have to read the book and make up your own mind. And finally, no I am not getting any kickbacks or affiliate commissions for pushing this book. Although that is a good idea.

The only problem that remains to be discussed is what if the book is too good? I mean what if it is awesome? The issue at stake is whether I should throw in my moist towellette (my fingers need TLC after typing) and stop writing. I’ll explain.

My sophomore year in college I began working for my school’s PR Rag ... ur... Newspaper. Shortly after I started I was promoted to editor and later a full time columnist (the Peter Principle in action is beautiful if you get a chance to experience it first hand). As a columnist I was often compared to Mark Steele (he had been a columnist at the newspaper in the early 90's). I have older brothers so I’m used to being in other people’s shadows (of course being in my younger brother’s shadow must have been a cosmic joke). Anyway this didn’t bother me, especially since I had met Mark Steele and his wife Kasie (they had mentored the missions team I was on one summer) and they are good folk. And they still are good folk even if the book sucks. Of course I don’t think it will because his writing style and mine are similar. Except his is better.

Which brings me back to the question, what if his book is awesome?

After college Mark went into media production, starred in some TV movies, hosted major media events, performed stand up comedy, and started his own company and now has his first book published.

And this is where the shadow thing comes back to brighten my day. I uh... I went to film school, starred in direct to personal video library sketches, was present at numerous parent-teacher nights, performed stand up once (not counting the 4 years of teaching), created the name for my future company and now have my own blog.

It’s like we’re twins. Yes, and I’m Danny DeVito.

I digress but what is new. First my hair and now this entry. I really am Mr. DeVito.

FYI: I’m okay with all this now. God has taught me (and will be reteaching I’m sure) to rejoice for others when they experience success and to pray for them. I think it is human nature for people to be envious of other people’s success, especially when the thought is, “that could have been me.” I hope it is human nature, if not I’m even more of a freak than I thought.

So in conclusion, I hope the book is awesome. I hope it does very well and that readers really enjoy it. I hope Mark corners the market on polyphonic experiential diatribes and that his business is a staggering success. And I mean all of this - I’m not being sarcastic at all. I earnestly (earnestly is a good word because its so King James) want him to succeed.

Why? Why do I wish him the greatest success? For starters, he deserves it. For seconders, he is very talented and has worked very hard at perfecting his craft. And most importantly, if his book sucks I’m going to have to delete this blog.

Read Review of Flashbang