The last four years of mine have started with a word from God. These words that I feel that God gives me are not a WORD as in the book of Ezekiel but a word as in one word.
In 2004 God impressed upon me to be obedient to what He had called me to do. And at this time this obedience was in normal / average stuff like job, family, writing and community. The call to be the king of the world would have to wait.
In 2005 the word I felt was to be disciplined in my obedience. When I call my son and he comes to me slightly faster than a glacier he is technically being obedient but not very disciplined in that obedience.
Seeing as I’m a slow learner the next year’s word was Focus. As in “stay focused on the call and be obedient in a disciplined way and FOCUS on that incoming glacier before it runs you over!”
So as 2007 was coming round the bend I started to wonder what the word was going to be. I began to assume that the word would be resist. As in “Philip you’re not focusing, you’re not being disciplined in your obedience (though you are heading slowly in the right direction) and the biggest reason is because you aren’t resisting distractions and temptations.”
But seeing as this word is from God and not from my subconscious I could never get a peace that that was what God wanted. Instead I got the word TRUST. I resisted this word and entered the new year a little up in the air on what God wanted the theme of this year to be.
For New Year’s I went to a happening party with Nate at a friends house and when I finally came to bed around 3 am there was a note in the bathroom from Tamara, next to a positive pregnancy test, that read “congratulations! How about PJ?”
So Trust. Very funny. Suffice it to say we weren’t trying and this is a complete surprise for us. I was wanting to wait at least another year before trying again. But God wants me to trust Him. Okay, I will.
Which in a round about way brings me to the point of this entry; do we trust God? Or more specifically do you trust God?
In America our money says “In God we Trust” but I think we trust more in the money (despite the fact that it is made of cotton – at least the Israelite’s idol was made of gold). And when it comes to children so many family, friends and coworkers of mine trust in the Pill or surgery before they trust in God.
I’m not trying to be judgmental. In fact I wish that we could take charge of our family and its ever enlarging size so as to prevent the constant uncomfortable growth. Which is more uncomfortable for Tamara then for me but you wouldn’t know this if you heard me whine.
The dilemma is simple: I asked God a question; How many children do you want us to have? And this is the honest answer that I give to many who ask me if Tamara and I are done. The problem is He hasn’t told me how many. All I know is that I have a peace about this next child and am trusting that He’ll communicate clearly to us when its time to stop. BTW we are also planning on adopting at some point when our kids are a little older.
Now trusting God with the size of our family has been an uncomfortable thought for me. Because to be honest I would have been very happy and content with four. The problem is I asked and He’s answering. So I’m being obedient in disciplining/training my children and focusing on my family and through it all I’m having to trust that He knows what He is doing.
I can already hear some of the doctors in my family going “God gave you a mind and medicine is a gift from God, use both and be reasonable.”
And they are right. I’m not saying what Tamara and I are doing is for everyone. If you want an out stop here and read no further. You’ve been warned.
The problem is we’ve noticed a couple disturbing trends and have come across some disturbing information.
The information is that the Birth Control Pill actually results in aborting about 5-15% of fertilized eggs by not allowing them to implant. We feel that life is precious and begins at conception so for us using the pill would be morally wrong. Tamara knows a lot more about this then me so if you want more info contact her and she’ll be glad to share (tamara@pfanstiel.com). We have tried NFP (Natural Family Planning) but that basically means for us we can plan to add to our family every 18 months or so.
As far as snip-snip. I’m not opposed to it and would be willing to do this if this is what God wanted us to do. But neither of us have a peace about this surgery so this option is effectively cut short.
The second, is something I’ve noticed and will comment on briefly today and more extensively on later. Children are treated like an inconvenience in our society. They are a responsibility and a liability and nothing more. I’ve known too many people (many of them Godly people that I respect) that reject the blessing of children because it would impede their ministry or calling. I struggled with this for awhile myself. Many of you may know that I earned a Masters of Communication in Film Production but am now a 6th grade teacher. What gives? Well God gave me a family. And far from distracting me from achieving my calling I believe and am trusting that God is using this time to develop my skills and character so that when I do return to film I’ll do so with something worth communicating.
Besides this I wouldn’t trade my teaching experiences these past 6 years for 6 Oscar winning films. Now at some point I feel like God will be moving me on but I’m in no hurry to jump to the grass on the other side. God has me here for a reason and I’m enjoying every moment and experience.
So about children; are they a blessing (which is what God calls them in the Bible) or are they a liability? If they are a liability then it is right and reasonable to limit your exposure to them to keep your bottom line in the black. But if they are a blessing then the more the merrier. Again I will be revisiting this topic later with some of my thoughts as a proud father to 4 young children (and 1 on the way).
Interestingly, the view of children as a blessing or a liability rubs off on the children themselves. I’ve seen and witnessed so many families that are barely able to survive with two spoilt rotten brats for children. While I’ve witnessed first hand a family with 13 children who are the best behaved kids I’ve ever know (and smart and talented to boot). As for Tamara and I our children are blessings and because of this attitude they pick up on it, view themselves as a wanted blessing and are and will be a blessing to society and the world.
In the end there is a basic question that I feel far too many American Christians are afraid to ask themselves: “Are children a blessing from God and can we trust God enough to receive what He wants to bless us with?” For those who honestly seek Him, God will answer and the answer won’t be the same for everyone. Some may have a dozen and some may have none. But wouldn’t you feel better knowing you had fully opened this area of your life up to the Lord? It is hard, but I am so thankful that at least in this area I’m being obedient and am trusting God with my family.
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