Oral Roberts University: the best school in the universe.

An argument, however logical, is inherently biased when the subject is one's alma mater, but the fact is, ORU IS the best university in the world. Fortunately, I am happy to announce that this essay is completely unbiased. I don't know how I do it but I, like the networks before me, am a bastion of impartiality. If you don't believe me just call and ask.

Now, as to the who, what, when and how's of ORU's acquisition of the award for best university (BU) in the world (why be modest?) ... in the universe.

So that there is no confusion the rules for determining best university will be clearly stated.

But first we (the editors of The Communique) did not determine the best university by solely calculating endowments, student / teacher ratio, entrance or exit test scores, or affordability. Nor did we use the oldest sign of wealth known to academia - the amount of golden buildings on campus. Now, if we had, ORU would still have done well. As a matter of fact US News rated ORU in the first tier for private schools in the Midwest in its Spring College Special issue.

Enough PR and CW (Conventional Wisdom). Post it as you may, ORU would still rank highly and in the years to come ORU will continue to rise in regard and academic excellence.

Like the four dots (see illustration) that must be connected with two straight lines without lifting the pencil, the award for the real BU cannot be determined unless one takes a step back and views the big picture.

First, the BU must be a place that trains people to impact and change the world in practical ways. While studying theories and mulling over abstractions may stimulate many academics (sounds like a kind of nut if you think about it) its sum is mere intellectual snobbery unless it translates into action.

Secondly, this action must be positive in nature. No one will debate the influence of Marxist thought upon our world, but saying that it has been positive is a reach. It also helps the case of the BU contestant if this positive action has long term, dare I say, eternal benefits.

Yes, I dare.

Now the definition of eternal benefits is what will most likely cause division among logisticians like myself (I love titles one can just confer upon oneself- I have a lot of them). It also helps if you approach life with a Judeo-Christian worldview, but this is not a requirement. Even an atheist can acknowledge the benefits bestowed by true Judeo-Christianity (more than any other philosophy) upon Western Civilization. If one doubts that Western Civilization is the most humane and decent of all societies to date, then one can purchase a ticket and visit Western Civ's competition in the Middle East and Asia, where billions are enslaved to gangrenous belief systems.

I could argue the need for a Judeo-Christian background in the BU contestant further, but I shall assume that since we are all alumni we have recognized the importance of a Christian university. However, if one is questioning please contact me at ppfanstiel@excite.com and I will be glad to send you copies of all my Humanities syntheses. If you still aren't convinced contact me again and we'll talk (meanwhile, pass the syntheses on to a friend who has insomnia).

Now if there is something to this Christianity, and there is a power in the truth that Jesus spoke 2000 years ago, then only universities that recognized this truth would be left in our search.

Since Jesus talked about his death, and resurrection only those schools that believe in this documented event could survive elimination. And since Jesus also spoke about the gift of the Holy Spirit, only universities that are open to all of what Jesus said and seek to understand it, would be left.

It is at this point that we add all of the other factors that go into the BU, such as academics, ratios, cost, sports, etc. For logic would call those who profess Christ and yet sit idly on their laurels cop-outs. I would call them other things, but this is a family newsletter.

To state the algorithm sequentially.

The BU must train its students to make an eternal positive impact. It must have a Christian heritage. It must be a Christian institution that believes Jesus and in Jesus and trains its students accordingly. It must also be sound in practical academic fields.

If, at this point, there are any schools left with ORU for the award of BU in the universe, then we must employ the time tested tie-breaker: golden buildings.

Cut & Paste: The next issue of The Communique will feature the talented Amber Warner as editor. Philip will be moving on to other pastures. Most notably those pastures in Virginia.

Notes on BU Award

by Philip Pfanstiel
Published Fall 1998
The Communique