The Philip Pfiles

07/29/08: Cribs Oxen Make

aka: An Ode to a Messy House

My kids are a mess. My kids are loud. My kids are immature. Picky. Moody.

My kids are too much like me...

But my kids are also kind. Caring. Compassionate. Insightful. Full of life. Crazy Fun. Beautiful.

I wish I were more like my kids.

Eight years ago today my wife and I welcomed our first born Nathaniel into the world in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

This past February I attended my 10 year college reunion and it was like I was looking into one of my previous lives. So much of who I am and what defines me has changed over the past 2/3rd of a dozen years ago (big families count in dozens simply for the shock value).

But children are messy. They mess up everything... if done right. Which leads me to the following line of logic:

Passion brings life. Life is messy. Passion is messy.

I don't know if the syllogism works (yes, syllogism is a new word I learned so I'm trying to use it a dozen times so I don't forget ... what was I talking about?). But here is my logic...

Children are a product of passion. I won't go into details since this is a family site (sorta). So much of life is like this if you think about it. We follow our passions first (whether it be love, career, ministry or sports team) and think of the cost later, if we ever do really consider it.

For too long I've viewed my children as weights that have held me back from pursuing my real dreams. If it were up to me my life would be completely different. It would be so much more cleaner, "successful" and ... empty. It would suck.

And what's worse is, I wouldn't even know it. I wrote awhile back that "we never weep over the children that were never conceived." That comment has haunted me.

I prayed a dozen years ago that God would glorify himself at my expense. Bad prayer to pray if you want a comfortable life. Great prayer if you want your prayers to be answered.

Fortunately, God had his hand in this delay / redirection.

My prayer now is not for success or for my dreams to come true but for His will and dreams to come true. And while I've longed to produce great theatric masterpieces, God has instead opened up a whole new production line that is infinitely more valuable, beautiful and meaningful.

Ironically, many of my other prayers have also been answered in ways I didn’t expect. For years I've wanted friends that would play RTS games with me like I used to have in college.

Yesterday I took my son to the store to buy a video game for his birthday. He then picked the one video game (Stronghold Legends) that I had had my own eye (but hadn't purchased because of time constraints) and we spent hours playing together today.

I've also longed for a fan base that would faun over every story, quip and line that spills from my lyrical mouth.

Now my kids beg me every night to tell them stories. Early this summer I spent four weeks giving them one of my fantasy stories a chapter at a time. Now they want me to tell the next story, and I’m not ready. I can finally say that I now have more fans than I know what to do with.

One of my favorite proverbs is the one that reads “where no oxen is the crib is clean.” Basically, its easy to keep a barn clean if there aren’t any animals in it. I have seen too many of my friends live antiseptically clean lives and have spotless houses and be the poorer for it. My wife makes a mess and my kids love her for it (and I do too once I get past my fit of OCD). Many judge our house, our five children and our own weary smiles and say “how do they do it?” whilst thinking “thank God, we don’t have to do that.”

I thank God that I do get to do it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except I’d like to make it an even eight (one more biological and a sibling set from an African orphanage), but I’m holding all of my plans loosely lest my plans block God’s dream for me and my family.

Besides once the house reaches a certain level of disaster any additional destruction is actually rebuilding... right?

In conclusion to this wandering toddler of an essay. That is how life is in a house full of children. Messy but meaningful. Loud but lively. Crazy but creative. Wild and Wonderful.

Link to my wonderful and beautiful wife's blog and photo of our family.

07/20/08: Since I’m not dead...

Today is my 34th birthday and I’m not dead. I’m happy. Not happy in the sense that “any day that you’re alive is better than the alternative.” Though, that’s a pretty good reason to be happy.

No I’m happy in the “whew, I made it past that barrier.” What barrier you may or may not ask, but I’ll answer anyway.

The Jesus Barrier.

Jesus died at the age of 33. I didn’t, so whew, I made it.

And no, I’m not better than Jesus. In fact He was SO good that He accomplished everything He was sent to do in 33 years.

Honestly I figure that if I’m 1/3 the man that Jesus is/was then I’ll have to live to 99 years of age to fulfill my mission or destiny. That works for me... since I’m not dead and have a lot of life left to live and loads of alliterations to list.

07/19/08: Cede nothing without making them show their work

On the plane from Atlanta to Dallas today I set by a former missionary and had a good chat. When the conversation came around to Evolution ...

Brief Aside: Most of my conversations come around to Evolution and Creation if they go long enough because that is the subject matter of my pilot project for my new production company that has consumed my life for the last 18 months and this run on sentence and yes it also ate all of the commas. So it would make sense that it usually makes its way into my conversations. I would apologize, but I’m not sorry and I don’t want to be more neurotic than necessary to sustain my reputation.

Anyway, I don’t think I’m the only one that does this. In fact, I believe we all do. That is, we all steer conversations toward things that we are passionate about. Most of the time such maneuvering goes unnoticed because everyone does it.

Homework: Try steering your next conversation towards something unusual that you normally wouldn’t talk about. Let’s say your chatting with the pizza delivery guy; well see how quickly you can lead the conversation towards alien abduction or the danger of vaccinations. Seriously, it will be fun. Me, I’m going to somehow lead the next conversation I’m in tomorrow towards the dangers of underground sinkholes (as opposed to the celestial sort). The art to this exercise is in doing it in such a way that it seems natural and intelligent. Doing it too quickly will be coming out of left field, and too slowly and you may lose your audience to the dangerous sinkholes that are creeping up on us every day. And no that last sentence doesn’t count as completing my homework.

Brief Aside Over - Return to actual blog entry ...

So when the conversation came around to Evolution it was interesting to see how quickly this missionary, bible translator and lifelong Christian ceded much of Biblical teaching regarding Creation to current scientific thought regarding the age of the earth (estimates say about 4.5 billion years give or take a year).

And this isn’t a criticism of him. Its more of a thought. I myself am trying to keep myself open to truth no matter how uncomfortable it makes me at first.

But how quickly should I recast clear biblical teaching about a relatively young earth (6 to 10 thousand years) to accommodate current scientific thinking? In other words should I just accept the experts’ answers and reinterpret the first half dozen chapters of Genesis so that I appear more reasonable and intelligent?

Or maybe I should hold my theologically sound ground against ALL the evidence so that I maintain my spiritual peace of mind whilst not using any of my mind’s other pieces?

If you know me (which if you haven’t met me you really should - I would love to meet my reader), then you already know that neither extreme appeals to me.

My conclusion; as Christians we should be very careful when we cede biblical teaching to contemporary scientific (or social, political, parental, economic, etc...) thought without first making them show their work. If they’ve done the work and are willing to show it then we shouldn’t be afraid to consider, evaluate and test it and follow the truth where it leads us.

If; however, they aren’t willing to show the work and just expect us to swallow it hook, line and sinker then don’t take the bait. We’re to be fishers of men, not mounted guppies.

07/09/08: Fatalistic Faith: Or Why I Hate Faith

I hate Faith. Not my sister Faith. I love her very much. I hate the word "Faith", especially the Word of Faith movement.

Problems quickly arise because the Bible says that “without Faith it is impossible to please God.” This and dozens of other references make it clear that Faith is important to God.

So as I struggled with faith it became clear that it was the definition of faith as more formula then actual trust in God that had led to this hating. But wait, I’ve given too much away already. I need to save something for the conclusion.

I wish there was a simple way of putting this without a history lesson but I don’t see one. Basically the Word of Faith movement teaches that anything is possible as long as one has enough faith that it will happen. So if something doesn’t happen (healing, success or wealth) then it was because of one’s lack of faith. Springing from this movement is the more blatantly unbiblical “Prosperity Gospel” that is being touted by many of the infamous tele-evangelists that clog the airwaves.

But I’ll save my skewers for these charlatans for a later day. Or maybe a “last day”?

The Word of Faith movement was really given birth by the late Kenneth Hagin Sr. at his church and bible school, Rhema, in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. It sprang from Charismatic and Pentecostal churches after World War II. (I am still a practicing Charismatic, though I reject the Faith Movement and Prosperity Gospel).

My family’s history is intertwined with this school and I hold no ill will for the Hagins or their school. In fact my parents are both graduates of Rhema and I myself attended numerous meetings, church services and am very familiar with the Word of Faith Movement as I grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Most of Faith teaching is rooted in biblical passages and sounds great. The problems arise when the sh** hits the fan as it so often does in life.

During my late teens and early 20's I had a number of Godly woman that I knew and cared for die of cancer. This is unfortunately where the true colors of the Faith gospel is revealed. (Link to article about these women)

As was told to these ladies numerous times in their last days “if only you would have enough Faith, God would heal you.” Needless to say they didn’t have “enough faith.”

So much for mourning with those who mourn. Why heal the wounded when we can just shoot them?

Now my journey out of the Faith Movement into a more balanced (and scriptural) belief has taken me from the extreme of the Faith Movement to the opposite extreme of nearly becoming a deist (where God set the world in motion and doesn't do anything anymore) and now I’m resting peacefully in green pastures and guess who’s camped out next door?

The Faith Movement. But, alas, there are some major differences that need to be cleared.

My faith... Trust is a word that I think more accurately reflects what the Bible teaches. So my Trust/Faith is in God and the death, resurrection and finished work of Jesus Christ. My faith is not in my own formula, near incantational ability to conjure up enough Faith to demand God’s action.

My faith is in God. But unlike many who disparage the Faith Movement, this faith is not a fatalistic faith in God’s “divine will” that is a cop out for letting life slap us silly and then saying “oh, it must have been God’s will ...”

Herein lies the nuanced but powerful middle ground. God wants us to act, He wants us to pray and when we do He will act on our behalf. Not because he has to, but because he wants to. God repeatedly calls us to act, pray and believe for greater things. When we live life and play possum when problems arise we are hardly giving God much glory or even the chance for glory.

This is why Faith Movement churches are also some of the largest churches in the world. People want to experience an active God and God does act through these churches. Not because they have it all right, but because they are doing something.

But how big (not that size is a measure of success or biblical correctness) would a church get that expected and acted in accordance with a powerful and miraculous God AND approached the tragedies of life with more grace, comfort and weeping for those affected?

As for me and my house we will Trust in God and a big part of trust is obeying the instructions that we’re given by God. “Go... preach... heal... cast out demons... raise the dead... be my witnesses."

06/25/08: Killer Compassion

Love and Truth.

Compassion and Justice.

Forgiveness and Vengeance.

It doth appear from where I stand (or more often sit) that our society is schizophrenic. We are caught in a dichotomy of our own making. I just wish I knew what dichotomy means.

Paradigm Shift anyone?

On one hand we celebrate love, compassion and forgiveness as hallmarks of our greatness as a nation. As long as its cheap, convenient and doesn't affect us personally.

That's when we call for brutal honest truth, a justice of the peace (or a lawyer) and bloody, exacting, and total vengeance.

On an aside: I've been struck by the number of people that champion causes (be it the prevention of some disease, affliction or crime) AFTER they or someone close to them is affected. And this is noble, don't get me wrong, but what are the rest of us waiting for? Are we waiting until we get cancer? Our children have autism? Some drunk kills our family? Why are we addicted to reactions and not actions?

So on this note I will proactively state my solutions before they affect me personally.

1. I believe drunk drivers who cause the loss of a single life should be executed. Unless it is there own, then they should be let off with a warning and some rehab.

2. I believe those who molest, rape, kidnap or assault a child should be executed. I won't even try to rationalize or explain what is instinct in every mother and father around the world. You hurt my child, you die.

3. I believe all naturally occurring drugs should be made legal. I don't and probably would never take Marijuana or Cocaine but it seems absurd that we prohibit naturally occurring drugs that God made, while we synthetically recreate these same drugs in the lab and pay out the wazoo for them, all the while destroying whole countries fighting a war that will not be won. If there is a war that we should be "cut and running" from it’s the war on drugs. Besides once we legalize it we can control it, tax it and educate people about it (see cigarettes and beer). If, however, we insist on this war on drugs then we should be honest and add cigarettes and beer to the other life destroying drugs. All or nothing, anything else is hypocritical.

4. I believe that children are a blessing and should be treated like a national treasure. I have a lot of thoughts on this and will write about it elsewhere, but for now suffice to say children are a blessing. However, a blessing can become a curse if we don't lead by example and invest love and time teaching truth and character at an early age.

5. I believe training requires carrots and sticks, rewards and consequences. Along this line, children need to be spanked from time to time. A good paddling by loving parents is the best medicine for selfish immaturity. Again, I'll write about this later. Too often our more "humane" punishments are so removed from the actual offense that the poor child never makes the connection. At many schools students are punished with "timeout" (alternate class or in school suspension) for an offense days or weeks after the event and never make the connection. I stole from my teacher's desk, was caught and got swatted by the principal when I was in 5th grade. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and the last time I ever stole. Sometimes truth must pass through the butt to properly register. I think if we did this more with children we wouldn't have so many messed up adults.

6. I believe that we need some good ole fashion exorcisms. Jesus went about doing good, healing the sick, casting out demons and raising the dead. If only Jesus had known how to properly diagnos everyone he wouldn't have had to spend a quarter of his time casting out demons.

7. I believe that we should take away the video games, TVs, computers, music, etc... of every kid with ADD or ADHD and give them only books and then reevaluate them in one month. I'm not against these things in moderation, but I think it is silly to medicate kids for over stimulation before we first remove the hyper-stimulants from their environment.

So what about the killer compassion? I think our supposed compassion is deadly, and while many of my proposals might seem harsh would actually be more compassionate in the long run.

What is more compassionate? Option #1: Rehabilitating one drunk and burying a family of five. Or Option #2: Executing drunk drivers and saving 10,000 to 15,000 innocent lives a year? Believe me, if we got serious and started executing drunk drivers there wouldn't be much drunk driving any more.

Final thought: I believe that the truth is full of love and will save the lives of those it may initially offend. I believe that when justice is systematically and uncompromisingly enforced that the safety that would follow is compassionate. I believe that we need to forgive those who have hurt us, but that the state is equipped, empowered and has to administer vengeance on evil doers. The catch to all of this is that if these seven steps were followed I don't think we'd have to execute very many people before most would catch on and start behaving.

God forbid, but if something happened to anyone in my family, I would forgive the guilty party, pray for their salvation and wish them God speed as I watch them pass from this world to the next.

Harsh? Probably. The way you'll feel when injustice comes knocking at your door. Absolutely.

12/31/07: Certainty in Fallacy: Working Hard versus Striving to do God's Will

I haven't published a blog entry in over seven months. This absence was not purposeful, I just had better stuff to do. And judging from all of the reader feedback lamenting my absence, so have you.

I've been busy starting my own production company and heading its first production. More on this later when I finish the first episode.

My friend John Strong, who is the director/editor on the production, and I were discussing the conflict alluded to in the title: working hard or striving to do God's will. As any Christian worth his weight in communion wafers will tell you, we're supposed to be doing God's will. Right?

If it were only that simple I wouldn't need to break my seven months of seclusion to wax philosophical.

The most obvious question is how do we know God's will? Because in order to do God's will we first have to know what it is. The problem here is what if what we "know" is God's will is not his will at all? I mean didn't the Crusaders' "know" God's will? The Inquisitors? The Jury at the Salem Witch Trials? The list could go on, but that is about all of the bad Christian antics I can think of (and yes, I plan on doing an entry about this at some point in the future).

With Radical Islam presenting such a vivid picture of what it is like when someone "KNOWS" God's will it may be wise to be a little more circumspect. In other words we are wrong in our understanding and knowledge of God. I know I'm wrong I just don't know how or in what respect my understanding is skewed. Knowing that I don't know it all gives me the humility and ability to listen and learn from others despite the fact that their understanding is different from mine.

Now this was a slight departure from what I "knew" I was going to be writing about in this entry but ... well, it does illustrate the point I was going to try to make.

I believe that we are to work hard. We are to live our lives as unto God and in everything we do try to please him and bless others (which is one of the biggest ways we please him). In everything we do we are to do it with all our might as unto the Lord.

The problem with "doing God's will" as mentioned above is that we may be wrong about what his will is but our certainty that our actions are right could lead to unmeasurable harm. Jesus said that his followers would be persecuted and killed and that those who did this would think that they were serving God. Certainty in fallacy. Its a new phrase I just coined. I'll see if it catches on.

I believe (notice I'm not certain and am leaving room for my beliefs to change) that Radical Muslims have this problem. They know they're right and are laying down their lives because of this certainty. The problem is that they are wrong (probably) but will only realize this once they have been used and cast aside by their "handler."

The second problem with "striving to do God's will" is that the onus or responsibility of bringing about His Will is on us. The problem with this assumption is that if it is our responsibility then we're in charge. In the New Testament we (followers of Christ) are routinely called stewards or servants. Never are we called the boss or owner. When we strive we take onto ourselves pressures, difficulties and all the frustrations that don't belong to us.

In my own life God (I believe) has been leading me into this current production (which has consumed every free moment [after family and work] for the last eight months). I believe he is going to bless it, open doors and that I am honoring him by doing this. But I can't and won't say that this is His Will and that anyone who disagrees with the project or how I produced it is wrong.

An interesting example of this is found in the book of Joshua, when Joshua meets the Captain of the Lord's Army (probably an Arch Angel or maybe even Jesus). Joshua asks him who side he is on and the Captain says neither side. The Captain then offers Joshua the opportunity to get on his side.

God is not on our side. God is not a Republican, Democrat, American, Christian or Muslim (although it could be argued that he is a Messianic Jew). What God asks of us (I believe) is for us to be on his side, to work hard, to please him and bless others. We get on his side by knowing his word. We work hard when it is something we believe in and find a purpose in and will then persevere and be faithful to complete. We please him by the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, meekness and self-control: I've rehashed them since they seem to have gotten lost in all of self-help pseudo-spirituality that we'd rather rehash) and these fruits are essential to our helping and blessing others.

I think that if we do this (get on God's side, work hard, please him and bless others) then we are in God's will. But this is more of a journey and not a destination. And for many of us this is our first opportunity to please God by practicing patience and self-control.

As I've been writing this entry I've tried to decide whether I am the pilot and God is my co-pilot/navigator or whether He is the pilot and I am the co-pilot. I believe that I'm the pilot. Ultimately I am in charge of my own life (free will). And this is how God intends it to be. He is my navigator and has a plan for the trip. I should be working hard with all the piloty stuff and not trying to plot my own path by looking at the map.

In my own recent endeavors God has constantly reminded me that what I am responsible for is how I conduct myself on the journey. I can't worry about the destination. But if I do what I know to do and do it with all my might as unto the Lord, then what He does with my business, well that's His business.

05/28/07: David Stern and the San Antonio Spurs stink really ... really bad

Sour Grapes sure. But I'm not too far off. So here goes my tirade.

David Stern should just give the Spurs the title. Basketball is becoming a circus much like the other "controlled" sports: boxing, casinos and dog racing.

Basketball is entertaining sure, but its losing any semblance of a sport. It's becoming less about talent and technique and more about marketing and acting.

It is well known that certain "marquee" players can take a third step and not get called for the travel. In the playoffs the big names can do no wrong, while the no names can do no right. Last years fiasco between Devin Harris and Dwyane Wade may be quickly forgotten by some but not I. In pivotal game five Dwyane Wade went to the line 25 times because of "fouls" (the Heat went to the line 49 times) while the entire Dallas team went 25 times - all 10 players. To cap off this ridiculous attempt at "reffing" the Heat are down by one with seconds to go in overtime, Wade drives for the basketball and misses... but wait an imaginary foul is called, Wade goes to the line, sinks both shots and the Heat go on to win the Championship (in game six).

So Dallas loses game five at home to Miami by one point. This is also the game where David Stern tipped the scales toward his anointed champion by suspending Jerry Stackhouse for a game for a "hard" foul in game four.

I was over it - I thought. And then in this post season my Dallas Mavericks lose in the first round (without any help from Stern) so I root for my backup - the Phoenix Suns.

Now this year the Spurs are headed to the Finals because David Stern kicked two of the Phoenix Suns starters out of game five because of a flagrant foul that a Spurs player laid on Steve Nash (the Suns point guard) in game four. And who says history doesn't repeat itself.

Basic Recap: Robert Horry checks Steven Nash into the boards. Suns bench rises in anger but is calmed down by its own staff. Meanwhile the players on the court come to a confrontation. Horry is ejected and suspended the next two games (as he should have been). But David Stern, the next day after having plenty of time to consider options and make the correct call, ejects two of the Sun's players (Stoudemire and Diaw) because they left their bench area (never mind the fact they returned to it by their own volition seconds later). He says he has to enforce the law (bad law though it was) impartially. Question: aren't judges supposed to "judge" things and weigh the severity of it? Even hanging Judges would have been more lenient then Stern was. Hum... interesting last name Stern has. Hopefully the owners will sack his sorry self during this off season or he'll become the ringleader instead of the commissioner.

Anyway the Spurs go on to barely win game five in Phoenix thanks to Stern's removal of two of their biggest threats and clean up in game six.

Just a thought: If I was the coach of San Antonio would I want to win the championship because of a dirty play my guy initiated? Where is the honor in sports anymore? Popovich seems like a classy guy but he missed a golden opportunity this time to show it. I think it would have been a very gutsy, courageous and heroic gesture for him to have set out Duncan in game 5 as a sign of honor. If they win, they win on a leveled playing field. If they lose they have game 6 & 7 to come back. But the only reason they won game five is because Stern kicked out the Sun's starting center. And Popovich took advantage of the situation.

For that matter what about Duncan? He could have set himself out as a sign of honor. Can't blame either of them, but I surely won't honor them.

Who am I kidding? Sports aren't about honor anymore. They're about winning. That's why the league allows and players take advantage of the most ridiculous foul calling when it comes to flops.

Sometimes I'm watching the WWE and a Basketball game breaks out. With all the flops you may confuse it for gymnastics.

What ever happened to "no blood, no foul?" Mano "the Flopper" Giniobli may be a great player - but I'm very confused because half of the game he's on his back trying to go to the free throw line. And of course, the refs oblige him. I could make some crude comment about "Desperate Housewives" but that wouldn't be in keeping with my sites attempt at decency.

Whatever happened to role models? These players I'm witnessing aren't role models. They play dirty, are rewarded for playing dirty, flop when touched and then whine when the calls go against them. Duncan, who I used to like when he had Robinson by his side, has become a laughingstock to everyone outside of San Antonio. His "who me" look is comical and boring - seen it before a thousand times.

I can't blame the players for being such wimps and coaches for having tunnel vision but all of this is not setting good examples for our youth.

The whole debate about where character comes from is just the chicken and the egg revisited sure. But while character should be taught at home; it is reinforced, at the least, by the role model athletes that our young people choose. What does it say for our future when we reward and elevate the people in our society that take advantage of the rules, show no honor, whine when it doesn't go their way and then are named champions?

Aside: I gave my students the opportunity to pick a role model of their own choosing to write a report on and give a brief presentation about. While I pitched the idea of Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Frederick Douglas, George Washington Carver, among many others; the most popular selections where professional athletes such as Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson and Carmela Anthony among many others.

And the saddest thing is, this is happening at the Spurs franchise which was known for its character under David Robinson. A man who refused to forgo his commitment to the US Navy after going to the Naval Academy and the organization who drafted him anyway knowing they wouldn't get him for another two years.

The Spurs were an example of what was right in the NBA and this world, now they're an example of all the stuff that's wrong.

By the way, when the post season started my teams were the Dallas Mavericks, Phoenix Suns and then the San Antonio Spurs. Now I'm rooting for anyone BUT San Antonio. And the cap with their emblem that I bought during Robinson's tenure will be going the way of the Mavericks and Suns playoff hopes as well as the Spurs honor.

02/27/07: Birth Control, IUDs, "Hand Drawn Diagrams" and other cursings in disguise

I find it easy to write about stuff I know nothing about. It comes with the territory of earning my BS degree in Journalism.

But my kids... I find it hard to write about them. Nothing I conjure up seems to do justice to the lives that fill my heart with joy every day when I come home and have them ankle tackle me. The pride I take with every new step (Luke), rambling story (Nate), spontaneous song about a pink kitty (Anna), and carefully extracted booger (Abby) makes me grieve at the thought of NOT having them in my life.

You don't cry over the kids you never conceive. But maybe you should.

This past Sunday a friend at church asked me as I was carrying out my two princesses if I had ever heard of birth control. I smiled and replied "the Bible says children are a blessing" and besides "we've asked God how many He wants us to have and he hasn't told us to stop yet."

Its funny because we are currently in a church wide drive to manage our finances according to scripture (Crown Financial Ministry is our source for materials and is a great tool). One of the examples the book uses is about the Knights Templar and how they would keep their sword out of the water as they were being baptized. The idea being while every area of their life was in the service of God, their sword was exempted from obeying God. The connection Crown makes is that many Christians serve God with their lives but hold their wallets out of the water.

I think we hold a lot more than that out of the waters of obedience (which is the whole point of baptism).

If this were my class I'd ask for volunteers to make the connection for me before I spell CAT.

Yes... go ahead....

Right, Joe Bob. Our Children. So much of our identity, security, fulfillment and effort is tide up in our children or our lack of children.

The other day as we were talking about where they wanted to be when they were 30 a student lamented that "once you have kids the fun is over."

Question? Where did that student hear such crap?

No wonder so many kids are selfish, cold hearted and shallow - they just want to be like their parents. What do we communicate to our kids when we can't handle or afford more than two (but we can afford a brand new car and a 50 inch plasma TV)? When we can't wait till they're out of our house so we can get back to the life we enjoyed before they were born? Children pick up on our attitude toward them. You sure did when you were growing up. You picked up on the unspoken. You heard what they said but did what they did. Is the next generation not going to do the same?

"Children are a blessing." - God.

It saddens me that so many of my friends take medicines to prevent pregnancy like they take the flu shot. It grieves me that people that would be excellent parents decide not to have children so they can try to save the children neglected by others. Where is the sense in that?

It makes me wonder about the viability of Evangelical Christianity when the only people that have large families are Catholics and Mormons. I won't impugn the motives of either of these stalwart religions (judging by their fruit they've both done more good then their detractors would like to concede) but wouldn't it be a great world if God's children had children for the right reasons. Not because they had no other choice, or to fill up their future celestial kingdom, but because they DID have a choice and decided to trust God with his greatest blessing: life.

I for one will never grieve over the children we never conceived. They greet me every day when I come through the door. God has filled up our house with joy and life and that more abundantly. Luckily for me I was too dumb to know how it happens.

01/21/07: ... Brought to you by the word TRUST and the number 5

The last four years of mine have started with a word from God. These words that I feel that God gives me are not a WORD as in the book of Ezekiel but a word as in one word.

In 2004 God impressed upon me to be obedient to what He had called me to do. And at this time this obedience was in normal / average stuff like job, family, writing and community. The call to be the king of the world would have to wait.

In 2005 the word I felt was to be disciplined in my obedience. When I call my son and he comes to me slightly faster than a glacier he is technically being obedient but not very disciplined in that obedience.

Seeing as I'm a slow learner the next year's word was Focus. As in "stay focused on the call and be obedient in a disciplined way and FOCUS on that incoming glacier before it runs you over!"

So as 2007 was coming round the bend I started to wonder what the word was going to be. I began to assume that the word would be resist. As in "Philip you're not focusing, you're not being disciplined in your obedience (though you are heading slowly in the right direction) and the biggest reason is because you aren't resisting distractions and temptations."

But seeing as this word is from God and not from my subconscious I could never get a peace that that was what God wanted. Instead I got the word TRUST. I resisted this word and entered the new year a little up in the air on what God wanted the theme of this year to be.

For New Year's I went to a happening party with Nate at a friends house and when I finally came to bed around 3 am there was a note in the bathroom from Tamara, next to a positive pregnancy test, that read "congratulations! How about PJ?"

So Trust. Very funny. Suffice it to say we weren't trying and this is a complete surprise for us. I was wanting to wait at least another year before trying again. But God wants me to trust Him. Okay, I will.

Which in a round about way brings me to the point of this entry; do we trust God? Or more specifically do you trust God?

In America our money says "In God we Trust" but I think we trust more in the money (despite the fact that it is made of cotton - at least the Israelite's idol was made of gold). And when it comes to children so many family, friends and coworkers of mine trust in the Pill or surgery before they trust in God.

I'm not trying to be judgmental. In fact I wish that we could take charge of our family and its ever enlarging size so as to prevent the constant uncomfortable growth. Which is more uncomfortable for Tamara then for me but you wouldn't know this if you heard me whine.

The dilemma is simple: I asked God a question; How many children do you want us to have? And this is the honest answer that I give to many who ask me if Tamara and I are done. The problem is He hasn't told me how many. All I know is that I have a peace about this next child and am trusting that He'll communicate clearly to us when its time to stop. BTW we are also planning on adopting at some point when our kids are a little older.

Now trusting God with the size of our family has been an uncomfortable thought for me. Because to be honest I would have been very happy and content with four. The problem is I asked and He's answering. So I'm being obedient in disciplining/training my children and focusing on my family and through it all I'm having to trust that He knows what He is doing.

I can already hear some of the doctors in my family going "God gave you a mind and medicine is a gift from God, use both and be reasonable."

And they are right. I'm not saying what Tamara and I are doing is for everyone. If you want an out stop here and read no further. You've been warned.

The problem is we've noticed a couple disturbing trends and have come across some disturbing information.

The information is that the Birth Control Pill actually results in aborting about 5-15% of fertilized eggs by not allowing them to implant. We feel that life is precious and begins at conception so for us using the pill would be morally wrong. Tamara knows a lot more about this then me so if you want more info contact her and she'll be glad to share (tamara@pfanstiel.com). We have tried NFP (Natural Family Planning) but that basically means for us we can plan to add to our family every 18 months or so.

As far as snip-snip. I'm not opposed to it and would be willing to do this if this is what God wanted us to do. But neither of us have a peace about this surgery so this option is effectively cut short.

The second, is something I've noticed and will comment on briefly today and more extensively on later. Children are treated like an inconvenience in our society. They are a responsibility and a liability and nothing more. I've known too many people (many of them Godly people that I respect) that reject the blessing of children because it would impede their ministry or calling. I struggled with this for awhile myself. Many of you may know that I earned a Masters of Communication in Film Production but am now a 6th grade teacher. What gives? Well God gave me a family. And far from distracting me from achieving my calling I believe and am trusting that God is using this time to develop my skills and character so that when I do return to film I'll do so with something worth communicating.

Besides this I wouldn't trade my teaching experiences these past 6 years for 6 Oscar winning films. Now at some point I feel like God will be moving me on but I'm in no hurry to jump to the grass on the other side. God has me here for a reason and I'm enjoying every moment and experience.

So about children; are they a blessing (which is what God calls them in the Bible) or are they a liability? If they are a liability then it is right and reasonable to limit your exposure to them to keep your bottom line in the black. But if they are a blessing then the more the merrier. Again I will be revisiting this topic later with some of my thoughts as a proud father to 4 young children (and 1 on the way).

Interestingly, the view of children as a blessing or a liability rubs off on the children themselves. I've seen and witnessed so many families that are barely able to survive with two spoilt rotten brats for children. While I've witnessed first hand a family with 13 children who are the best behaved kids I've ever know (and smart and talented to boot). As for Tamara and I our children are blessings and because of this attitude they pick up on it, view themselves as a wanted blessing and are and will be a blessing to society and the world.

In the end there is a basic question that I feel far too many American Christians are afraid to ask themselves: "Are children a blessing from God and can we trust God enough to receive what He wants to bless us with?" For those who honestly seek Him, God will answer and the answer won't be the same for everyone. Some may have a dozen and some may have none. But wouldn't you feel better knowing you had fully opened this area of your life up to the Lord? It is hard, but I am so thankful that at least in this area I'm being obedient and am trusting God with my family.

01/14/07: I'm rooting for ___, but the other team is going to win

This entry is of no consequence. I'm just venting in the general direction of all the pundits who choose the sports team based on the numbers and not their gut.

My father, whom I greatly admire (I say this because I am going to point out a foible), would always say he was rooting for team A, but that team B was going to win. It always bugged the tar out of me. When it comes to mutual funds hedging your bets is a good idea. When it comes to sports commit to a team and root for them. Don't waffle.

Today I was rooting for the Colts and the Saints. Fortunately, they both won their games thanks in large part to my 8 hours of anguished viewing and exuberant jumps in my living room, study and connected rooms.

What really got my goat was that all three of the pundits on CBS forecasted that the Ravens would win. I can forgive Mr. Sharpe since he played for the Ravens. Mr. Marino and Mr. Esiason are not forgiven. I just wished there was a way to make professional pundits eat their words when they make miserable calls like these.

Especially unforgivable is Mr. Marino who knows that Peyton Manning has always idolized him. Maybe its his own sour grapes as Manning is often compared to him and is fastly eclipsing his records. Or maybe he is just a lousy picker. At what time do personal loyalties or feelings play into the forecasting of sporting events? Are we in a Vegas casino or are we rooting for our team, all evidence to the contrary?

Besides don't they know how TV is supposed to work? Two guys pick one team, one guy picks the other. Its called keeping your audience happy or in their terminology; hedging your bets.

BTW: I'm rooting for Indy to win the AFC, the Saints to win the AFC and I want Indy to win it all. That being said Chicago and San Diego are going to win with Diego ultimately winning it all.

And no, I don't know what hypocrisy means? Why do you ask?